You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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