dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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