There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
