Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
