something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
