I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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