So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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