Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
