i can't believe i had my finger in that
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
