I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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