i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
