Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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