i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
you never un-have a 4some
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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