yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
