He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
