____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
