I think I died a long time ago.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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