You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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