Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
