just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
