I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
sarcasm needs its own font
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So much rum. So many feels.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
