I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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