were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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