whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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