At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
