i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
