At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
