Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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