So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
