I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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