what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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