Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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