We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
