I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
