I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
