I showed him my bush... on skype.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
