Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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