need another drink. this is the easiest way
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
