...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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