In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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