Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
