Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
