is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
