party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
