these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
