I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
