if i can run in heels then i can drive
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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