woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
