hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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