Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
