You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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