i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
