Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
