you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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