I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
