just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
