Sry I called you an 8
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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