sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
