I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize